A Short Poem Of Medical Advice
Dr. Dana Myatt
I went to the doctor because I was ill
and asked her to give me the miracle pill
to make me feel better - and please, real quick.
You see, I just hate it whenever I'm sick.
She said "I'm afraid your cure is quite up to you.
Your body is sick from the things that you do.
Your diet's abhorrent - it's really quite dire.
And by smoking, your lungs think your house is on fire.
Pushing a pencil is exercise - not,
and the stress that you're under just thickens the plot.
An antibiotic will not cure your cold
which is caused by a virus - this story's quite old."
Somewhere in my head this all made good sense;
however, I put up my strongest defense.
"I can't change my diet 'till after next week.
My friend's getting married - you know I must eat.
And life's too stressful to stop smoking now.
If I quit, and start eating, I'll gain weight and how!
And if I gain weight I'll feel even worse.
My fat's not my fault - it's an old family curse.
And doctor you really just can't understand
the pace of my life and how busy I am.
I can't exercise - I haven't the time.
So I have a few vices. Is that such a crime?
It was Joe in the office who gave me this cold
or else I'm allergic to house dust and mold.
So please give me something to help me feel better.
I'll follow your instructions right down to the letter.
"I see," said the doctor, "I'm not getting through.
Here's a bottle of pills. Four times daily take two."
"Four times is a lot when my schedule's so tight.
Can I just take them twice, each morning and night?"
"Do whatever you want" said the doc with a sigh.
I thought for a moment she was going to cry.
"The state of your health is quite up to you
I can counsel and guide you, but you have to choose.
My studied opinion, my highest advice, is
get 'back to the basics' - don't even think twice.
The choices you make will determine your fate.
Improve your condition before it's too late.
Pills can be helpful and sometimes can cure,
but your daily routine will affect you for sure.
Now pull out your wallet and pay me my fee.
My advice may be basic, but it doesn't come free!"